People try to find answers from so many different places when in reality, the answer is already within us. The key is learning how to find it. In this episode, Dolores Hirschmann chats with Life Designer® and the Founder of Empowered Living, a Life Design Coaching and Personal Development Training company, Julie Reisler. With her company, Julie has helped and inspired many to grow by truly connecting with their inner voice. She believes that we all have an inner intelligence ready to guide us as our birthright if we only know how to listen. Tune in to this episode as she shares meaningful advice on how you can find clarity by facing yourself and listening to your body.
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Listening To Your Body: Finding Clarity From Within With Julie Reisler
I am so excited for my conversation with Julie Reisler. Julie is a Life Designer, multi-time TEDx Speaker, TV and Podcast Host, and Global Brand Ambassador. She coaches entrepreneurs and facilitates workshops and masterminds to help participants increase engagement and confidence to take their career and life to the next level. I’ve known Julie for a few years and I think we met because she interviewed me in her podcast. Since then, we’ve been exchanging tips and messages, and she and I worked together for a little while.
What I love about Julie is that she is in constant curiosity around what it makes to live a full, fulfilled life. What I want to ask her is what are some of the things we could do to tap in so that we can live that full life. If you don’t know much above Julie, you don’t want to miss this conversation because I want to extract from her head some tactical and tangible advice on tapping into our intuition so that we can grow bigger.
Welcome to an amazing clarity conversation. I am so excited to introduce you to Julie Reisler. Julie, it’s so good to see you.
Thank you so much. I’m so excited and grateful to be here.
You and I have known each other for a while. We’ve even worked together. It’s been such a pleasure to be in your energy. You have so much clarity. You are intentional about how you spend your time. Was it always this way?
Certainly, it was not always this way and to go right to the deep end of the pool here. There’s always been this inner question before starting my own business of what am I here to do and how am I going to express this? The clarity has emerged. It’s the Lotus flower. The Lotus comes from mud. I had a lot of mud and muck. We all, as humans, if we’re conscious and aware and working on our stuff, there’s mud. There’s that dark stuff that at the time much of it I did not know what was going to come out of it, but I’m grateful now because so much of those challenges, that mud has helped me to live into this Lotus flower, which it’s not like there isn’t more mud going on, but I know how to do this now because I’ve done it a few times and I have a few lotuses. For me, that clarity has come out of a lack of clarity.
You say, I now know how to do this, so how do we do this? How do we get into the mud? I can only assume that it’s not about stepping over the mud to get to that Lotus space. How do we get dirty?
I’ll share with you without bringing in all these different assessments and things, but for those who know the Enneagram, I’m a seven. My top strength is positivity and I don’t like the mud. I wish I were a gardener. My husband is. I’m not someone who likes to get her hands dirty. I do in the work world. Getting in the mud was not a place I wanted to be. This being comfortable looking at what’s going on years ago. For me, I share very honestly and in the TED talks I’ve done, I talk about I struggled with food addiction and it was a way to close off to feelings in any kind of mud. The way I dealt with it was to eat, use sugar, and avoid.
I’m going to share with everyone that does not work. Denial and pushing things down, we all have some addiction to something to get us out of the moment. For me, it was getting very clear that I needed support and that started this whole way of being, which was, “I am not going to not look at the mud, pretend it’s not there, and walk around it. I’m going to go in it, be with it, and look at what is going on.” What are the beliefs? What are the stories? What have I been telling myself? That was the origination of a lot of deep work that continues now. However, that deep work led to more stuff coming up and more deep work that eventually led to a lot of clarity for me. A big piece of learning how to do that, the first thing, is not pretending it’s not there, denying it and blocking it. If you are doing that, be kind to yourself. It’s a safety mechanism. We do it to stay safe. It’s not something to judge yourself on. We’re human and most of us don’t want to feel pain or mud.
This is a fascinating conversation because, as you said, “I was floating over the mud, nice and clean for a long time until I had the courage, the support, or a combination of it to say, ‘This is not working. I need to go into the mud.’” From that day on, you are comfortable getting into the mud consistently. It’s not that you never go back in, but in some ways, this journey is a juxtaposition of the concept of freedom and the real feeling of freedom.
First of all, in a world where there’s black and white, tall and short, there’s no such thing as joy without pain. Not feeling is not feeling neither the good or bad. We’re shifting more into the work that you do now. Have you ever encountered a situation where someone comes in and works with you because they say I have no feelings? I’m not feeling any of it. If you look at my life, everything is perfect. I am beautiful. My children, husband, and business are beautiful and I can’t feel any of it.
It might appear a little different usually. What I have heard is, “This is upsetting because there’s nothing wrong. Everything looks great.” I felt that before, like things look great on the outside. First of all, note to everyone reading that does not mean that’s how you feel on the inside. I’m a big fan. I love Glennon Doyle and her book Untamed. I remember she said it so well. I’ve heard it in different ways, but she talks about feelings and emotions. It’s like thinking of them as Amazon packages. You’re going to get the package at the door. We want to receive the emotion. Receive it and know that’s a gift. It’s like what you said. If I’m avoiding the mud, darkness, sadness, grief, or whatever it is I’m feeling, then I’m also going to be less able to receive the feelings of joy. Your spectrum becomes very small.
What happens is life becomes very gray. It feels gray. We live in a planet world that has duality. I was listening to something about this. You feel intense joy, and connection. There have got to be moments where you don’t feel that to get what that is and it’s an important piece of being a human of emotions on the spectrum. I had someone and we worked on being okay with and learning how to be with your feelings, those emotions, and the mud, especially for those like me who are like, “No, thanks. I’d like to go to joy, please. I’ll take joy.”
What is a process? I’m understanding and hearing you. It’s almost this concept of becoming fully alive with all of that means. What does that journey look like?
I’m coming from a bunch of different ways of doing this and I can share what’s worked for me and what I help others with, but I came through support systems. There’s therapy, coaching, twelve steps, and then inner child work. You can look at all these different aspects. The real thing is you’ve got to first be aware and honor that it’s there. I look at it as a little flare. If you had a little flare or your tire had an issue and you’d stop, it’s here to send a message. It’s a messenger. It’s being aware of it. Personally, at this point, I like to dialogue with that aspect of myself. I like to first say something to myself like, “Whatever it is you feel is okay and I will not abandon you. I am here with you.”
I did a lot of abandoning myself and I think there’s a correlation between that and auto-immune conditions. That’s a whole different conversation. I have my own research on myself and the people I’ve worked with. I first create that container of compassion and non-judgment, which is not always easy and I welcome it like, “I feel this. I’m with you. I am not going to abandon you. Let’s look at it.” I often will do this. It helps me to get out a journal. I like pens to paper. There’s something very different than typing. I write out, trigger, what are you feeling? I ask what might be going on and what might this be about? I keep asking. What might be under that? What do I need to heal? I ask these questions, usually very simple. What is the trigger? What might this be about? What do I need to learn? What do I need to know? How can I soothe myself or how can I heal? It’s amazing what comes out when I do that.
There are times I haven’t been sure of what I feel. I feel off. Frankly, I’m going to name it. A lot of us, especially those entrepreneurs or wanting to be, you look on social media and you can have a major feeling like crappy about yourself because you see someone who landed the dream client and is sharing about it. It’s a perfect picture if I’m not grounded in me or even when I am grounded. Sometimes, it still feels like, “I could’ve done more. I feel like maybe I did something wrong or envious,” or all those feelings. They come up, less so the more that I stay grounded and connected in my lane, but they come up. What I’m learning to do and I teach this and try to help others. I would say I think we have to look at it because otherwise, those emotions live in our body. I don’t want to be holding onto them in my cells in my emotional body.
Journaling helps me. I don’t always know what I feel, to be honest. My first instinct, honestly, is to get a chocolate bar. I’ve learned when I hear that, I don’t do that because it doesn’t work for my body and that becomes an addictive cycle. “I want chocolate bars. Something is up. What’s up? I’m here. I’m with you. I’m compassionate. Whatever you feel, I will not abandon you. I’m listening.” I go write about it often or I’ll find someone to verbalize it, and then I get clarity like, “I feel not good enough. Worthiness. That’s what we’re dealing with.”
We can work with that. That’s the beauty of the curious journey or the inquiry. Masters in Clarity is our company and we work with people who come to us for clarity. The truth is what my job at Masters in Clarity is to turn everybody into masters of their own clarity. It’s not about us becoming masters of people’s clarity because what I’m hearing for you is your internal, personal inquiry will reveal what is going on and will also reveal the action or the non-action that needs to be taken.
Talk to me about your journey of how did you become this expert. Many of the things that your clients accomplish are they connect with themselves, develop their intuition, and begin living within their own physical, mental, and emotional space with less addiction to the outside world. When I say addiction, it could be someone else deciding for me, perfection, or workaholic. There are so many. Some of them look good on the outside but it still makes you dependent on something else.
I’ll say that’s my internal process but I always have a coach that I work with. I have someone I work with and I’ve been doing that for years that I’ve been coaching. It’s important and helpful to have someone else as well, but I do think we all have that ability. For me, it’s super interesting. I’ll try to make this succinct because it’s a journey. I was a Psych Major. I didn’t want to become a therapist, although I have high respect for therapists and that whole world. I was in an intensive personal development program. There was a lot of transformation that I then was asked the coach. This was years ago and I fell in love with it. I sold my daytime job. I was going through a major transition in my life and getting consciously uncoupled, divorcing, and I had two kids under the age of 2 or 3 at the time. It was an intense time. I started coaching for this program and I was like, “Whatever this is, I’m here to do this.”
It was interesting. This is before coaching became what it was. It went back while I was in my full-time day job, single mom, went back and got my Master’s Degree. I’m very lucky. It was a beautiful university in health and wellness coaching, but with an integrative approach. I started and had classes on mind and body science, brain, and all of these things. I was learning experientially and then had my own health breakdown because I was pushing myself. I saw when you push too hard, it affected my body. When I abandoned myself all those years, it affected my body. I started living what I was learning.
If you knew your life would be fantastic and powerful either way, what decision would you make?
I was like, “I am an experiential learner.” I was applying what I was learning in my degree and then using the work, helping others, and fell in love with this work. I left a somewhat cushy day job as a single mom to start my business because the coach I worked with, that first coach changed my life. He asked one question that totally changed the way I looked at my whole life. I’m talking people that have these light bulb moments. I can remember I was like, “What just happened?” It gave me the courage to listen to my inner voice.
From there, teaching it at Georgetown coaching others, this work is the ticket to sovereignty and freedom. That’s why we say we can’t have enough coaches. Our world is asking for this work. It comes from a place of appreciative inquiry of unlocking your own inner wisdom. It’s very empowering model. I have someone who’s always working with me, and in terms of clarity, I don’t know a better way to get to clarity than through this type of work, which is coaching.
What was that question that changed your life?
We all have this gift of intuition and of inner knowing. I have it pretty intensely. I blocked that as well and I had the sense with the person I’d married, a wonderful person but not the best fit, and I’d push that down for a long time. I was married quite a while. I did not know what to do and I was struggling. This coach wanted me to coach his program and he said, “We first need to look at what’s happening at home. Julie, let me ask you this,” because I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want to ruin my family’s life. He said, “If you knew your life would be fantastic and powerful, either way, what decision would you make? Would you stay married or would you get divorced?”
I had never contemplated. It sounds so silly but I had thought like, “I’m trapped and doomed. Either way, it’s going to be awful.” It was like, “Would my life can be great?” I knew in that second, it wasn’t even a question, I said, “I don’t want to stay married to him. It’s not right for me.” He said, “Go do that.” I said, “I’m going to do that.” We decided I’m going to do that graciously, kindly with love, and it was powerful to create and design that uncoupling with that type of empowerment.
It brings back to your core identity as a life designer. Disruptive doesn’t have to be aggressive. It doesn’t have to have a hedge hammer or whatever you call that. Design is intentional and is aligned. What I’m hearing is that sometimes we have a choice that we’re not allowing ourselves to make and because we are surrounding that option as a dangerous zone. Let’s see what we can make the best on this zone but that’s not even negotiable. That’s the core of a life designed to align with who you are and your intuition. It’s having the courage to have everything be able to put on the table and with no fear.
I would say this. It’s funny. I had a little fear but it was not overpowering the deep knowing, conviction, clarity, or commitment. It’s great to say that and remember because I’ve been able to lean into that again. I know what it’s like to shift something completely. For some reading, it hopefully might be but probably won’t be necessarily a divorce. It might be starting a business, writing a book, or whatever it is. To me, it comes back to really trusting that you have an inner intelligence and guidance that is always for your highest good, those around you, and here to serve. When I tune into that, I trust that and take inspired action, not action but inspired action, that leads to the type of outcome I’ve seen over and over again that it’s better than what I could imagine. It doesn’t mean it’s easy. I’m going to be honest. That was not easy to go through that divorce experience. It wasn’t easy with the health situation that I’ve been in or to start a new business out of nothing. Yet the clarity was so anchored in that the fear, whatever it was, it was like, “I see your fear. You’re going to be there. You’re not driving this thing. I’m not letting you drive it.”
We’ve been talking about clarity and getting the clarity we need to make a decision or take an action. How does that dynamic work for you right now? Do you have any tools or tips, whether it’s muscle testing or something? For anybody who’s reading who needs to make a decision, how much clarity do you need to make a decision?
I have learned for myself and many people that I’ve worked with that we have this tuning fork. I’m starting to understand how intelligent it is and how much information it has. What I have learned is that if a decision is not a full body, and I mean a full yes, then I pause and I wait. I don’t take action until I get that resounding yes. That’s taken a while to do. A great way to see or feel into what is that yes for you is, number one, start noticing when it is a yes. How does that feel in your body? What are you feeling and what are you saying to yourself? What does it feel like when it’s a maybe and a no? Start to get to know the yes and the no.
A very simple practice that I know works for me and I’ve seen work with many others is simply, when there’s a decision, do you lean in or are you leaning back? When you lean in physically. Criminal psychology knows this. Your body doesn’t lie, never lies, and cannot lie. I stay tuned into it because sometimes, if you don’t know, just feel it. Are you leaning forward, slowing down, nodding your head, pulling back like I don’t want to be part of this? Watch your body language. Truly, it’s going to tell you oftentimes. The other thing to do is I always give myself the 24-hour rule, especially a bigger decision. I pause and wait for some inspiration about it. I will write about it but I don’t make a decision anymore. We want to be aligned and that clarity of yes. Otherwise, where you’re creating from is not going to be fully aligned. It’s what I’ve seen for me.
When I’m in a meeting, on stage, or in a space where my creativity is being activated, I shake. My body shakes. Nobody can see that. I could be in an hour-long meeting when most of the time, my body is at a level of high vibration and literally shakes. I freeze for the whole hour.
That’s the thing. You’ve noticed that. You got to first notice what you do. I have a thing where I lean in and I have a sound that I make. I’m very tonal. You have shaking like your body is telling you. It’s the higher frequency. There are all these clues. We got to pay attention. To me, why I love this is because everyone has it. You don’t have to pay for it. You got it for free. It’s part of your birthright. We all got it, but we’re all different. Everybody is different. Every sense of inner wisdom is different, so it’s worth it. It’s worth the time to start seeing, “How do I respond?”
What are you excited about in 2021 or in the near future? What are you working on?
I’ve fallen in love with this. What’s emerged from this pandemic time is my coaching certification program. I’ve taught at Georgetown for a while and at my university, I was teaching there as well. I got to take all of the experience with coaching and then add in the body wisdom and intuition. I call it the art and science and integrative healing aspects of coaching, so that’s been fun. I would say what’s on the horizon is I am in the midst of my next book. This whole topic is about overcoming imposter syndrome, doubt, and stepping into your whole self.
I’m working on the book. It’s called Who Does She Think She Is? I’m excited about it. There’s a lot of energy around that. I’m looking to create something very special in 2022. A small, intimate, probably a mastermind for women like an intimate year, a soulful experience of not the business side of running a business but also the energetic side. I haven’t fully created it. I get excited when I think about it and that’s how I feel into it.
That’s exciting. I can’t wait to see that. Let’s talk about where you find your inspiration. Nowadays, this Netflix series is great as well. What is a book, show, or series that is either your go-to or the one that you recommend the most? You mentioned Glennon Doyle.
I have a lot. The one that got this all moving for me was Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way. It’s an amazing book. I got to do a retreat with her. I love her. She is very genuine and walks her talk. She has Walking in This World as her second book. She’s beautiful and very wise. She’s amazing, anything by her. I still will read and listen to anything by Wayne Dyer and Louise Hay. I wish they were still here alive, but I listen to a lot of them. The other one and I gratefully interviewed him. He was Neale Donald Walsch, who wrote Conversations with God. It’s not religious but it’s very spiritual. It gets into this collective consciousness, unity, oneness, and supporting one another. I love his work.
There are so many others that I listen to. I always have an affinity with The Miracle Morning with Hal Elrod, You Are a Badass and all of those. Barbara Stanny Huson, I love her a Sacred Success. She wrote Rewire for Wealth but she’s a powerful woman who overcame quite a bit to learn how to do her business and life from a place that honors the feminine and the masculine. I could keep going, but there are so many. Those are just a few.
The denominator that I’m hearing and I will check some of these books is about those guides that came before us or with us, but that is creating that container of inner power for outer impact.
I have seen this 100% myself because I’ve done a lot of exploring and digging in the mud, especially being part of the whole twelve-step world. I’ve done a lot of work in that world as well. Looking at everything, the common denominator is always me, you, and ourselves. The trick is not coming from judgment but getting whatever I’m seeing on the outside is a reflection of what’s happening inside. To me, that’s hopeful and exciting news. That’s why this whole life design, we all get to design it. We are doing it consciously or unconsciously in all moments. I’m curious like, “While I’m here hopefully, for a long time more, I would like to see and be part of a humanity planet that is thriving on connection, cooperation, community, unity, love, and joy.” This sounds trite, but if I want that, I’ve got to find that within myself and learn how to be that.
In community and collaboration with my body, mind, and heart, it’s becoming whole first.
It doesn’t mean at all times perfect. Harmony is the word. It’s not about it’s always going to feel that way because then we go back to what we started with, where we live in a world of duality. You’re going to have the mud. You have to have that type of Lotus but being okay with that and honoring it. That has taken me, I’ll be honest, a long time to be able to sit with feelings that don’t feel comfortable. What I’ve found is they pass through. It is worth it to go through. Take it from me. Try not to go around or hop over.
You have an inner intelligence and guidance that is always for your highest good.
You go back to the start. It’s through not around.
The last thing, quickly I’ll say too, the gift of it, most of what I’m doing has come through and is so powerful for me because I’ve been in the mud and I get it. There are gifts oftentimes who we serve and we’re here to help comes from going through it. I wouldn’t change that. I have to remind myself when I’m there. Trust me. That’s why we have people in our lives like you and others that I feel very connected to. We find people that we can make sure we’re getting support, accountability, love, and compassion in that sacred space.
For those reading who might have been introduced to some words in our brief conversation like the word of intuition or the statement of getting into the mud, what is one simple, doable step they could take from reading this blog?
There’s a lot of science behind this and I’m not going to go into it now, but around heart intelligence and heart and brain coherence. This is a thing. Look at HeartMath. They have a ton of information. It’s a very simple place to start. I end and start my day this way. Start by grounding yourself. Put your hand or both hands on your heart. First of all, connect to this organ. No joke. I’m not talking about what it’s doing in terms of pumping blood, which in itself is pretty miraculous, but there are also neurons of intelligence connecting and feeling your heart. Typically, when you do that, you want to think of something that you feel grateful for or appreciative of and bring that into your body.
I would start with even asking your heart and your higher wisdom, “What is an intention for right now? How can I honor myself more right now? What is a message for me?” Something very direct, clear, succinct, small, and notice what you might hear, feel, see, and sense. I’ve done this work. It is unbelievable. It’s very different than what you find in your brain. Start there as a place to ground and be like, “There’s something here.” Most of us know that intuitively anyhow.
To recap, put your hand or both hands on your heart, simply be there, take a breath, and ask, “What is my intention for me right now? What is there for me right now?” Simply just listen. I love that. Ms. Julie, where can people find you?
First of all, thank you. This has been my favorite conversation. The easiest place to probably find me is my website, which is my name, JulieReisler.com. The show is wherever you find shows, but everything is on my website. If anybody is curious to discuss any of this or connect, I love people and connecting.
Julie has been very generous. If you can go to her website, you can download her first book from the website. You’re going to have to wait and be patient for her second book. I love the title, Who Does She Think She Is? That’s going to be a little bit of a rather there.
If you want to get the Lotus, you got to go in the mud. This will be going in.
Julie, thank you so much for making time for this conversation, for bringing this work to all of us here in this world, and helping us get into our mud so that it can come out with our light.
Thank you so much, Dolores. I love what you’re up to. I see the light in you and as I’m looking at my crystal Lotus here. Thank you for being a light as well and all that you’re doing. Thanks for having me.
You’re welcome. Thank you for coming.
I had a great time chatting with my friend, Julie. One of the things we talked about is all about this internal alignment and how do we find that internal alignment so that we can make decisions from a place of honoring who we are, our own purpose, and our own path. One of the things we talked about is this capacity that we humans have when we stop, listen, and reflect of being our own guides. In her programs and work, she helps people master their own intuition like what we do in Masters in Clarity. We help people master their own clarity. She helps people master their own life and master the connection with their highest self.
She tells the story of how she went through completely disconnected and not aligned. Her life was in a situation where it wasn’t what she wanted. It wasn’t bad from the outside. It actually looked fine, but from the inside, it was a slow death. She tells the story of how she needed to go in first and reconnect with her internal life that many of us have lost touch with because we do have what I call the internal genie, but that intuition that knows what we want and what we need. She talks about how she went and tapped in to be able to tap out and live a full life. You don’t want to miss our conversation with Julie, where we talk about intuition, clarity, and mastering both.
- Julie Reisler
- Tips on becoming a powerful TEDx speaker with Dolores Hirschmann – Previous episode on the You-est You Podcast
- The Artist’s Way
- Walking in This World
- Conversations with God
- The Miracle Morning
- You Are a Badass
- Sacred Success
- Rewire for Wealth
- LinkedIn – Julie Reisler, MA, ACC
- Instagram – Master Transformation Coach
- Facebook – Julie Reisler
- Twitter – Julie Reisler
About Julie Reisler
Julie Reisler, Life Designer®, TV Host, Author, Next Level Facilitator and Global Brand Ambassador is the founder and CEO of Empowered Living, a Life Design and personal development company.
Julie coaches big-hearted high achiever entrepreneurs and facilitates corporate retreats, workshops and masterminds to help participants increase engagement, confidence, work to their strengths and take their career, and life, to the next level. Julie is also the author of the Get a PhD in YOU book series, a multi-time TEDx speaker, host of The You-est You® podcast and meditation teacher on the popular app, Insight Timer, with over 110,000 downloads.
Julie has a master’s degree in coaching and more than twelve certifications in leadership, mindset and wellbeing. Julie is also on the faculty at Georgetown University in their coaching program. Julie is passionate about helping you to be your ‘you-est you’ so you can up-level your life at work and beyond. To learn more about Julie, go to juliereisler.com.